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Philip "Inspector Muffin" Ventrella
Instrument: Anything that no one wanted to play
Jobs: Song writer, performer, doughnut bringer
Jon "Sergeant Delphius Bombay" Mitchell
Instrument: Mixing Board, Keyboard, Ironing Board
Jobs: Pressing keys and moving levers, strange background vocals, reigning Philip in.
Chris "Lieutenant Screwball Charlie" Haren
Instrument: Drums. Lots of them. Double bass and such
Jobs: Drums!
Craig and Brad, "The Tater Twins"
Instrument: Vocals (Talented guitarist and bassist on their albums)
Jobs: Sound good and blend. Carry a tune and make it sound better.
Also on the album!

Harry "Shleprock" Gore: Hard rocking guitars and background vocals (Lead vocals on "Soda Water Bottle")
Kevin Pryor: Another drummer for when Chris was out of town.
Michael Ventrella: Bass (and co-writer) on "Goodbye Innocence/Are You Satisfied?"
Charles "King" Arthur: Guitars on "Great Chicago Fire"